Reflecting on eight months of Accutane

Today marks the last day in my full course of Accutane. Ever since Jan-Feb, I’ve been religiously taking 60mg of isotretinoin in order to permanently “cure” (or severely lessen) breakouts of acne on my face and body.

Sometime near early January I decided I needed to change something in my life. I was going through a difficult period at the time and–when I looked in the mirror, I saw something I didn’t like. So I decided.

What if I could change an aspect of my body? What if I could stick to something, a new habit, and complete it as a major life project?

At this point, I’d struggled with acne ever since my early teens. It’s a ginormous drain: constant upkeep, medications, face washes, etc. It messes with your self worth and image.

So I went to my derm and asked to be put on Accutane—I knew the risks and decided I was ready to do this.

My final dose

Throughout this time, I’ve faced a number of side effects:

After going through the whole dose, I’d say it was completely worth the side effects. The medication is temporary but the benefits are forever (or that’s what I’m hoping, knock on wood).

A huge mental burden has been lifted from me. My life consisted of a constant struggle with managing my skincare. Between creams, face washes, medication and constant derm appointments—I never fully felt I was on top of things. One missed night of medication meant waking up with an embarrassing breakout. You don’t realize the mental toll acne takes on you until you no longer have it.

I proved to myself I could do it. In part, this was an exercise in discipline and perseverance. How much could I bear in order to achieve a goal? The side effects of this medication are brutal—and the best part: entirely optional. I could choose at any time to stop the journey and return to my regular life. But I made a conscious choice, every day, to improve myself—to suffer now in order to be better in the future.

Every time I went for a walk, I needed a ten minute warmup in order for my joints to not hurt like hell.

It led to better habits. I couldn’t drink much during the course. Those who know me… know I did cheat a bit here… But I tried to keep my alcohol consumption to the minimum.

I changed my perception of myself. Acne messes with how you and others see yourself. I feel more confident, more attractive and I’m very proud of my skin. Acne scars are forever and I’m glad I stopped the bleeding.

My course is over and I can’t wait to see how things unfold over the coming months. Here’s to a successful course and (with great hope), no more acne—forever.

To you, reader

If you’re on the fence, give it a shot. See if the side effects are tolerable for you. For me, they were an OK tradeoff—but everyone is different. Stopping a course doesn’t imply weakness.

If the side effects are tolerable, prove to yourself that you can change things about yourself. Give yourself eight months to change your life.

And finally

I drank a fat glass of cheap ahh Cabernet to celebrate this one.

· Personal


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